Last week European competition authorities raided the offices of energy companies in several countries including Hungary. A balaclava-clad commando was searching the briefcase of one of the power company executives and he found this letter. It was written by the executive’s young son and his friends, and he must have forgotten to post it.
Lieber Hans, liebe Gretel,
We are writing to thank you for your recent generosity. It turns out that because you pay much more for your school than you should really need to, we get to eat much more sweets! It sounds funny, but Daddy says it’s true.
Don’t tell anyone, but we were really worried that we would get caught out after telling all those “porkies”. Can you imagine, László managed to persuade his school master that he would read all of Grimm’s Fairy Tales last term, and so even before he had read them, the kind school teacher gave him lots of sweets as a reward. In actual fact naughty László only read two of the Tales, and he got found out when the School Inspector came and checked what he had been reading!!!
At Vaclav’s school, the head boy (we all think he is the headmaster’s pet) got loads of sweets, and yet he’s already the fattest boy in the school! Jerzy’s school has piles and piles of spare sweets in the cupboards, but no-one can find the key to the cupboard door, so everyone is just sitting about waiting, getting thinner and thinner.
We got really worried that all our sweets would be taken away, but then the headmaster said that your teachers get such high wages, that we are allowed to keep our sweets!!?? He said it is something called the system. We first thought that it must be something to do with Auntie Bruxelle. That silly old cow is always sending us sweets and presents, although we reckon the postman steals most of them.
Daddy said that the teaching at your school is badly organised. He said that there are two very bad, fat, teachers who stop the headmaster from hiring any cleverer teachers in order to keep their wages high. And they guzzle lots and lots of sweets all the time which means that they have to earn even more to pay for their habit!! Which means that you have to pay much more for your teaching than you should. But he explained that this means that we are allowed to eat all of our sweets despite all the fibs we said to our own teachers. We don’t really understand how it works, but the sweets were delicious, especially the liquorice allsorts.
So thanks for tolerating those greedy teachers you have – it means we get more sweets to eat!
László, Vaclav, and Jerzy.