Rebellion alphabet

When the laws of the land actively promote the destruction of nature and take other species to extinction ahead of us, it is obviously justified for brave people to rebel. We should all. Here are some examples, in alphabetical order:

- Architects and designers who say no to clients who want to replace nature rather than work around it

- Brave saboteurs able and willing to foul the engines and slash the tyres of vehicles and break machinery engaged in plundering nature

- Computer programmers able to disable laboratories manufacturing pesticides

- Doctors able discreetly to administer progressively larger doses of ketamine to nature-hating industrialists and politicians

- Ex-military guys roughing up the lobbyists of fossil fuel companies

- Fashion models who lure agrochemical executives into honeytraps

- Gamekeepers who don’t set their traps, and gunsmiths who sell reverse firing shotguns to trophy hunters

- Hypnotists skilled in imbuing love of nature into the most curdled hearts

- Indian gurus infecting men in suits with radical spirituality

- Judges with the right values or amenable to retirement improvement programmes funded by wealthy people intent on protecting nature

- Kleptocrats’ accountants secretly fleecing their bosses and wiring the cash – via offshore paradises – to projects which restore degraded forests and wetlands

- Lawyers able to defend the brave saboteurs, even if pro bono

- Municipal workers who accidentally break their infernal strimmers and let the grass and wildflowers grow

- Nice old ladies who suddenly decide to stop eating sea fish

- Organists who stand up and shout “If you’re really a Christian, then live as if God made the Earth” in the middle of mass

- Policeman ready to turn a blind eye to the other people on this list, with or without retirement improvement programmes

- Queens who rip up protocol and talk like it is about how bad their government is

- Retired generals who realise that all is not well and perhaps have granddaughters who can clearly, calmly and lucidly explain to them the desperate situation we are getting into; those good men might be ready to call in a few favours, and suggest to the current command that someone needs to do something

- Sewage workers who dump foul smelling sludge in the front gardens of executives of companies building maniac rail ventures

- Teachers who teach children to sing and paint and play and love nature and eschew STEM classes

- Undergradates who debag economics professors still rambling on about economic growth

- Vendor financiers who refuse to fund the purchase of chainsaws

- Workers who misunderstand instructions and dig the trench elsewhere

- Xylophonists who persuade the entire orchestra to stop mid-requiem and give a minute’s silence for the natural world

- Youth workers who help children discover nature in inner cities

- Zoo keepers who feed oil executives to crocodiles while people are all watching the sea lions performing

These are just a few of many ways in which we can rebel against the destruction of nature.

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